Examples of Joke

Junior and His Dad

 

Contained in this writing is the dialogue between a primary school student called Junior and his dad. Junior is a dull and unintelligent primary school student. Junior’s school vacated for the third term or section and he came and show his dad his poor result for the school term. The funniest part of it is that Junior did not even know his performance was poor. That is to show you the kind of ‘blocked-head’ junior has. Mama Sandra is an old woman who knew the background of Junior’s dad. Junior’s dad claimed to be an intelligent student when he was in school. 

Action Starts

Junior: Good day dad, our school vacated today and we were given our results by our teachers.

This is my own result. Some of my fellow students have their positions as one, two, three and four, but for me, I have a big number of 105 in my own position. This means that I have bigger number than them and I am very happy.

Junior’s dad: Okay let me see your result.

Junior: Dad take it, I know you will be very happy to see it and be proud of me. It is not easy to have a number as big as 105 in my result as position (Junior is very happy jumping up and down because he think that having position of 105th out of 105th is good)

Junior’s Dad: What is this! You my son occupied the last position in the class. What were you doing when others were having first, second and third positions in your class.

Junior: But dad, 105 is bigger than 1st, 2nd and 3rd (he started crying). I do not like what you are doing to ‘meoooo’ because 105 is bigger.

Junior’s dad: If it were to be when I was in school, I always occupy first or second position. Who do you resemble in this ‘blocked-head’ of yours?

Mama Sandra: junior and the dad, I heard what have been going on between you two. Do not mind you dad because you resemble him. He hardly went to school during his school days. He was occupying last position like you those days. Your are even better than him. This is why he ended up as a roadside mechanic, so don’t mind him.

Junior: Hei! So dad, you have been lying to me all these days. Let me go with my paper result since I am even better than you.

IS THAT FUNNY?

JOKE 2

 

The Nigerian Police Commissioner and the Bus Driver

Nigeria is a country located in a continent called Africa. One of the weaknesses of this country is its engagement in corrupt practices. The government of Nigeria pretends to be working everyday to shun corruption in this country. This is a country that is ranked 8th most corrupt nation in the world in this year, 2013. The position of this ranking is sourced from PM News on 11th June, 2013 as you know that ranking can vary based on the body or organization in charge. Also, know that there are some other ranking bodies that can rank nations lower or higher. The ranking by Transparency International may not be the same with that of another body but globally, the result by the Transparency International is widely accepted. The ranking is based on the 2013 Transparency International. Transparency International is an Anti-corruption body that gives updates on corruption issues and world ranking of nations concerning the level of corrupt practices.

This joke portrays (shows) the level of corrupt practices that the policemen in the country indulge. It displays the level of pretence and hypocrisy that is common among the police officers in the country, Nigeria. It is the season one of the joke as the season two will be featured in no distant time. According to Transparency International, 80% of the surveyed citizens of the countries that make the top eight most corrupt nations said that the police are corrupt and Nigeria is not an exception.

This drama has the characters as Deputy Commissioner of Police, the Interviewer, bus driver and the ‘junior policeman’. The Deputy Commissioner of Police was interviewed by the television interviewer on a National television Channel. The bus driver was intimidated by the ‘junior policeman’ and the Deputy Commissioner because they needed bribe from him.


This is How It Goes

Television interviewer: Welcome to the television show of today. We decided to call you on this show because of what is going on in the police department of Nigeria and that is no good news. It is well known to everyone that your boys collect bribes from drivers and other persons and this is not encouraging. What effort are you making to stop this dent in the image of the country?

Deputy Commissioner of Police: Thanks my honourable interviewer for this invitation. The truth of the matter is that I have summoned my boys (the junior policemen, mainly those that stand on the expressway) and told them to stop collecting twenty naira or ₦20 (Nigerian currency which is equivalent to $0.12) from drivers. I have also given out my numbers for the citizens to call me whenever any policeman demands for twenty naira from him or her in the name of bribe and I will still do that here.

Television interviewer: Why I you so centred on the ‘twenty naira issue’, I did not mention any particular aspect of the bribery. I just said corruption and bribery and you are just talking twenty naira, twenty naira and twenty naira…

Deputy Commissioner of Police: (voice rising) The issue is that we the policemen love twenty naira so much and that is why I decided to start from there. Yes, we must stop collecting twenty naira from both bus drivers and car owners.

Television interviewer: It seems you were once collecting from people based on how you sound in this show. You said ‘We’ that means you are involved.

Deputy Commissioner of Police: (laughs) Anyway, let me tell you the truth, I was collecting before but I stopped of recent. I decided to stop so that my boys will stop too. In fact I and my boys will stop it. You know the twenty naira is too ‘shinny’.



What Happened After Two Weeks of the Television Interview

Junior Policeman: Let these bus drivers come and bring their twenty naira and pass. I do not even care whether their particulars are complete or not. My concern is not even on what they have in their buses, whether they are carrying illegal goods or not; it is none of my business, let them come and bring their green card (slang in Nigeria that means ₦20). I know that my Deputy Commissioner will like to collect his own at the end of this duty.

Bus driver: Officer good afternoon, I hope work is moving on well (referring to the junior policeman)?

Junior Policeman: Good, where are your particulars? I hope they are all complete.

Bus driver: Yes, I have everything and they are all complete, just have them.

Junior Policeman: I can see that they are complete and up-to-date. What of the other “thing”?

Bus driver: Which other thing are you talking about when I have given you everything?

Junior Policeman: Oga (meaning master), Please give us your green card and go your way.

Bus driver: Chei! So you have not stop collecting twenty naira from people as your Deputy Commissioner said that he had warned you people to stop this bad act. In fact, let me call the number he gave on the TV show which is his phone number. I bet he will come and deal with you (he did not even know that the Commissioner is in the saloon car next to him hearing what was going on).

Deputy Commissioner of police: (he appears) Mr. driver, what is your problem and why are you pressing your phone buttons?

Bus driver: Thank God you are here. This your boy is demanding twenty naira bribe from me, that is why I wanted to call you when I did not even know that you are even here. Start to punish him for the offence he just committed.

Deputy Commissioner of police: Is it because of what I said on the national television channel last time? Just bring the green card right now or we take you to the station where you pay bigger amount.

Bus driver: But you said we should stop giving bribe when you were on the National Television channel.

Deputy Commissioner of police: Forget that one and bring the green card. I said that for people to think that we are good. In fact if you waste more time, you will pay fifty naira instead of twenty. Have you forgotten that this is Nigeria?


What are You Doing To Stop Corruption?

This question is for everyone. What effort are you making to stop corruption in any part of the world you find yourself? Are you promoting corruption or working to put a stop to it? Contribute the much you can.

JOKE 3

TWO UNDERGRADUATES

Introduction

Stanley: Babe you look so charming, can I pass a night with you in my hostel today? I have a lot of “things” that can make you so happy.

Richael: Oh! Stan of all people, are you the one? Do you know my new ‘status’? If you want the disease to catch you, then I will pass this night with you and give you ‘everything’ you want.

Stanley: You mean you contacted the endemic disease that is popular among the youths. You appear so attractive, how come you have such disease in you? Please! Go away and don’t come near me again. So this is how I would have been a member of “ the organization”. I will not try this thing again. Waiteooo, what of those one I have slept with before. Chaii!

 

My advice
Do not go round picking ‘everything’ you see in the name of pretty babes. Be very careful with the kind of girls you deal with. What shall it profit you to enjoy pleasure today and die in agony in the rest of your life? As a youth, hold yourself and be patient enough. When it is time for you to have "fun", you will enjoy it until you get tired of it. Run away from 'fingering before marriage' for you to live long and enjoy more life in this "sweet” world.